We all own insecurities. By this, I mean we all own something about ourselves that makes us want to burrow down into a sweatshirt and hide from the world. Sometimes these insecurities get the best of us; they wrap their hands around our throat and stop us from being what we want to be, making new friends, pursuing a new relationship, and so much more.
During the past few years of my life, I let my insecurities sit in the driver’s seat while I sat patiently in the backseat waiting for it to be my turn. During my senior year of high school, I became stuck in a hole that just kept growing deeper and wider with each passing day. I was riddled with anxiety and faked a smile every day to create a persona that fulfilled everyone’s ideas of who I was but also to pretend that I was the person I was craving to really be.
Everyone has insecurities, so how does anyone truly love themselves through and through? This is a large question that used to swirl around in my brain quite often. But, through growth, patience, a little TLC, and a compilation of fleeting moments that play in my head from time to time, I may have found one thing that leads to self-acceptance and love: talking.
Talking about your insecurities with another person who you trust is one of the most important things you could ever do for yourself. In a time infested with new media being presented to us every second of the day, we encounter thousands of images and stories of people being happy. When was the last time someone like Kendall Jenner expressed to her followers that she was depressed? See my point? Due to this toxic suggestion that everyone is happy and loves themselves without question, we, the readers of this content, begin to forget that we are not alone in our insecurities.
As I was battling through my insecurities, I was aware that my friends also didn’t like certain things about themselves, but I always assumed they were happy, just like how they assumed I was too. It wasn’t until I opened up to them about everything I had been feeling, that they opened up to me. This was a huge lesson for us.
Since then, whenever I am beginning to feel down again, I am not afraid to reach out to a close friend to talk about it. In fact, oftentimes they relate to me and express that they have been feeling similarly.
Because of this feeling of connection that occurs when you talk to someone about something as serious as your mental well-being and insecurities, everything begins to feel more valid. One of the major reasons we hold our feelings back is because we feel as though they are not valid enough. But who could blame us? There is something so odd about telling someone you have been sad for no reason at all, right? However, there is a reason and telling the right people can and will help you.
If you are a regular reader of my posts, you have probably noticed that I like to offer advice and encouragement to other people that I hope will help them in some way. However, one of the most valuable pieces of advice I could ever share with another person who is trying to love themselves is to talk to others about it. Don’t go through this journey alone, and allow people who care about you to help you, even if it’s just one person. It doesn’t need to be a therapist either; go to your sister, your best friends, a parent, or whomever you feel most comfortable being vulnerable with. You deserve to love yourself, so talk about it.