The Dating Game

Every girl has been there. “Do I double text him? Should I ask him on a date? Maybe, he’s just not that interested.”

Today’s topic was created by the devil himself – crushes. I know, I know, I swore off dating early on in this blog, but what’s a girl to do?

Okay, so how is one supposed to handle crushes? I took my questions to Twitter and asked my followers (all 1,500 that barely interact with me). But some of my friends had some of the same issues as I do — being over analytical, the fear of showing too much interest and making themselves believe the other person is more interested. My favorite tactic is to allow it to self destruct so I never have to deal with the idea of having feelings again.

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I try to stay away from the dating realm as much as possible, but sometimes someone comes along and you get that stupid, giddy feeling when they text back and when they don’t reply you’re bummed, and then you find yourself scrolling through their Instagram and sending screenshots of their photos to your friends (or that could just be my crazy self).

Either way, my research led me to the cold hard truth, I’m not alone. Everyone I know is clueless too, so as I sit here fresh out of the shower contemplating on what to do, millions of people feel the same way.

The scary thing about crushing on someone, though, is that in the beginning it’s intense and there are so many emotions overwhelming you that it can be hard to handle. And I’d rather not give in to my girlish ways and let a crush devour me, but it almost always does.

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I’ve also convinced myself that my new found lust for a special somebody is because I am re-watching Gossip Girl and it’s physically impossible to not watch that show and want someone in your life, even Blair Waldorf, the independent queen is constantly yearning for a someone.

It’s just one big mess because if the first move is made and they’re not interested, it’s always a vague response with some lame reason, which I am totally guilty of, but no one wants to hear their own rejection lines.

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Maybe there’s a possibility feelings can be resisted, maybe it’s human nature or it’s just that all romantic feelings are fleeting. I don’t know, but my brain is consumed and confused.

 

 

Through the Looking Glass

A bright-eyed, toothless Danielle at the ripe age of six told her classmates to vote for Bush because he was Republican.

In eighth grade I would do the same for McCain when he ran against Obama.

I would spout facts off about both parties and shock my Social Studies teacher with what knowledge I had at such a young age.

I was the girl in political arguments before most of my friends took interest in the political process.

I was told I had to go into politics and I wanted to.

I wanted to be a political journalist and learn Arabic so I could travel and document what was going on.

As I grew up, I began learning things about the world that made me fearful. I kept my interest in politics on the conservative side until I graduated high school.

Then, I began to realize the world isn’t as peachy keen as I once thought it to be.

I had things happen to me where I realized that the system wasn’t in my favor.

I changed my views from what I was raised on, but haven’t changed as a person.

love my friends with different viewpoints because I shared their ideology for years and understand every point they make when we discuss politics.

respect that they are passionate about their beliefs, just as I would hope they feel about mine.

love hearing their viewpoints because it broadens my horizons.

want to learn as much as I can because it helps me understand.

This is the beginning.

No matter what side you’re on, please know you’re a human with a beating heart and feelings.

We will need one another more than ever the next few months, maybe even the next few years.

Love one another always.

Danielle Donavan

 

 

October: The Month For Ghosting

When I told my mom the other day that I was being ghosted, she assumed I meant something was haunting me and that I was going insane. Nope, mom, just another human being exiting my life silently without a reason.

Goblins, vampires, werewolves, and ghosts are all super cool during the month of October, that is until “ghost” started to be used as a verb that is now ruining my life. Okay, I’m being dramatic and hypocritical because I am the queen of ghosting. Ask anyone who has talked to me in the last two years. “I don’t know she just stopped texting me, but she’s super busy.” Busy, AKA I lost interest when you thought “new” was “knew”.

For those who do not know, Urban Dictionary defines ghosting as, “The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date. This is done in hopes that the ghostee will just “get the hint” and leave the subject alone, as opposed to the subject simply telling them he/she is no longer interested.”

Okay, but seriously why is ghosting a thing? I wish I didn’t do it, but the idea of telling someone they aren’t my type, or that I didn’t enjoy that awkward movie date we had sounds excruciating in comparison to just not replying to them, but when it happens to me… It’s a whole different story.

I begin to panic, asking all of my friends what I did wrong, I blame it on the universe and my lack of puns on the date. “What could I have done differently?” “Was it my joke about Donald Trump?” Or maybe it’s because as I have previously stated, dating in this world is completely useless.

There are actually how to’s circulating the internet on ghosting (I am as shocked as you are), just in case we all forgot how to not reply to a text or Snapchat. But ghosting gets messy because as I’ve learned the hard way if you ghost too soon, you can have regrets, but there is no turning back.

Am I going to stop ghosting? Probably not. Do I want it stop happening to me? Yes. But ghosting is here to stay and that’s something we all have to live with, but ghost at your own risk.

Also, enjoy the block party this weekend! Be safe and meet new people!

So You Think You Can Adult?

Living on your own is fun until the bills come in, and you have to wash dishes because for some reason every apartment in Athens doesn’t have a dishwasher, or maybe they do and none of my friends have them. Finding your own apartment can be a daunting feeling to do alone, but with the right help, it can make it a whole lot easier! I looked on so many different websites like https://arqatcumulus.com/ to see what would best suit me and my situation where I was currently. Well, after all of that I finally got one, so alls well that ends well.

This is my first year living completely on my own and this whole idea of “adulting” is almost a big joke at this point. I can’t cook that well and I’ve never been able to. I burnt myself cooking a pizza that you literally just stick in the oven. I am now scarred for life and have never cooked another pizza. I did learn that mustard supposedly helps burns (shoutout to my brother-in-law).

While living with my parents I learned little adulting tidbits, like not ditching my nieces and nephews in line for slushies at their birthday parties, and not hogging their sidewalk chalk for too long when I’m drawing a flower. But, living on my own is kind of stressful especially since I’ve become some weird, clean freak that my mom wouldn’t recognize. You don’t understand. Everywhere has to be clean, including my bedroom. Yes, you heard that right. My bedroom. My personal space. This wouldn’t have happened when I was living at home, but something has changed now that I’m in my own place. As everywhere is clean, it gives me a better opportunity to redecorate if I want to. My friend told me about these wall decals that she said would look great in any of the rooms in my apartment, so I told her I’d have a look. If I do decide to do this, at least I don’t have to waste half my time cleaning up my living space, as it’s already been done. I use Clorox wipes on the daily to clean our kitchen counters, when I used to not even put my dirty clothes in a hamper. Yeah, I was that kid.

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Now being on my own, I even make my bed sometimes, which says a lot because I’m a firm believer in the whole “I’m gonna get back in it later, so what’s the point” mantra. I also sweep our floors because having hardwood floors is my personal hell. They look pretty and nice but they’re the devil’s spawn, especially if you have more than three people over. Everything will be stuck to the floor no matter what you do. I have complained about this a lot and to try and resolve this problem, my friends have told me to try and find the best steam mop for wood floors that I can to see if this would make a difference. I haven’t got around to looking at it yet, but I’m open to trying anything to help make cleaning this hardwood floor easier.

I learned the basics while under my parent’s roof, like dishes, because I actually grew up without a dishwasher, so there’s not culture shock not having one. It’s just a nuisance. I know how to do laundry and I even hoard plastic bags, which I am still not sure what the purpose of that is. I still have loads to learn before I move into my dream apartment and become a full adult. The end goal is to end up in one of the Admirals Cove apartments, or something similar (you can check them out at https://www.admiralscovealameda.com/), but I know I’m not ready yet because I don’t know how to balance a checkbook or budget my money. But I’m getting there. I just know my Mom and Dad would be proud if they saw my apartment, and that’s a small win in my world of adulting.

Red Flag

“Love is a one-way street headed away from me”

“Red Flag” – The Moth & The Flame

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Love being defined as a one way street may sound horrific, especially to have an unrequited love, but it’s a beautiful thing. It’s an amazing thing to love something fully without expecting anything back, if you truly think about it. Although some of us, including myself, are often taken advantage of in these situations, you learn to give your all no matter the outcome.

Unfortunately, those people you love may use you when they need you, and you’re still there and there’s nothing wrong with that. Maybe that’s just my opinion, or maybe I convince myself that so I don’t go insane. I have learned to accept this as true because those around me never fail to tell me how much I love, and how intense I am about the things and the people I care about.

I surround myself with people that get taken advantage for their kind hearts and no matter how much I tell them to get their mean girl on, they can’t do it and neither can I.

(I’m such a hypocrite for that, sorry friends)

I believe that we all have people or a specific someone in our life that we would swim across the ocean for, and the sick thing is that the people we would swim for, would stand & watch from the lifeguard stand. Those types of people are vain and yet us kindhearted folks would still swim the ocean a thousand times to prove our dedication to this one-sided relationship.

But, I’m alright with being someone’s favorite place in their hometown, the thing that they like to visit to see how much it misses them.

Everyone Is Engaged and I'm Eating Ruffles

This week, I posted a photo on Facebook and Twitter of me eating Ruffles while simultaneously holding a cupcake, which I intended on eating, all while watching Netflix. I’m quite the multi-tasker, not to brag or anything. It’s the perfect representation of how my life is going – food, food, and Netflix.

All of my high school friends are getting engaged and having babies, which is cool, congrats to all of them, but sometimes I forget to turn the burner off on the stove (mom, please do not call me panicking). The idea of having to commit to anything more than a typical relationship or a subscription to Ipsy makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry.

I can’t even commit to a normal sleep schedule.

I’m not degrading young engagements or anything, but it’s just not for me, maybe because I haven’t met the right person. Maybe I swiped left on my future fiancé-to-be and I don’t have Tinder Plus, so I can’t go back now. There are a lot of possibilities out there for my lack of bling on my left ring finger.

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I know I’m still in college and there’s no rush to be getting married, but my palms get super clammy just thinking about having to attend any weddings that require me to have a plus one. Hopefully it’s acceptable to bring my dog.

I’ll probably have to train her not to bark during the objection part because that could get super awkward.

For more, click here!

 

Everyone Is Engaged and I’m Eating Ruffles

This week, I posted a photo on Facebook and Twitter of me eating Ruffles while simultaneously holding a cupcake, which I intended on eating, all while watching Netflix. I’m quite the multi-tasker, not to brag or anything. It’s the perfect representation of how my life is going – food, food, and Netflix.

All of my high school friends are getting engaged and having babies, which is cool, congrats to all of them, but sometimes I forget to turn the burner off on the stove (mom, please do not call me panicking). The idea of having to commit to anything more than a typical relationship or a subscription to Ipsy makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry.

I can’t even commit to a normal sleep schedule.

I’m not degrading young engagements or anything, but it’s just not for me, maybe because I haven’t met the right person. Maybe I swiped left on my future fiancé-to-be and I don’t have Tinder Plus, so I can’t go back now. There are a lot of possibilities out there for my lack of bling on my left ring finger.

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I know I’m still in college and there’s no rush to be getting married, but my palms get super clammy just thinking about having to attend any weddings that require me to have a plus one. Hopefully it’s acceptable to bring my dog.

I’ll probably have to train her not to bark during the objection part because that could get super awkward.

For more, click here!

 

Fall Awakening

“You expected to be sad in the fall. Part of you died each year when the leaves fell from the trees and their branches were bare against the wind and the cold, wintery light. But you knew there would always be the spring, as you knew the river would flow again after it was frozen.”

– Ernest Hemingway

Happy Fall Equinox!

You can now bring out your fall decorations and eat all of the pumpkin flavored items that your little heart desires, even though I already have been. Fall is my favorite season for more reasons than just “Halloweentown” and pumpkin carving.

Fall means men sporting beards and the fact that I can wear leggings as pants even though I’ll probably sweat to death walking uptown. I know I sound like the cliché college girl preaching about fall, but have you not seen the leaves changing? It’s a beautiful thing. The leaves changing means so much to me. Fall shows that things die off to be brought to life again in due time.

When things die, we often believe they’re not meant to be brought back to life. But just like the leaves, we change in the same way. I hadn’t written a blog in eight months before accepting my position at Thread. Why? I was dead in an odd way. I was comfortably sad, and my last chapter that I wanted to write about was closed in December, and like spring, I was reborn.

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I stopped writing because I was stagnant in my emotions, but one day I just moved forward and it was like the flood gates of happiness came rushing in and I didn’t have anything to grasp onto anymore. I was cleansed after I closed that chapter. I was wilted but spring came and I grew again.

After a conversation with a few friends this week in my living room, I realized why most writers thrive off of sadness. When you’re sad you go through the motions and feel everything so sharply that there’s no middle ground. Then when you’re happy, it’s like shock therapy and you don’t know how to handle it. You don’t know which way is up or down.

I imagine this is what new leaves must feel like after wilting and falling off a tree, then all of a sudden they’re growing again in the spring, and then it’s summer and they’re basking in the sun.

That’s where I feel I am now.

Is Mercury in Retrograde?

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Photo Provided | Pinterest

Is it just me that’s having the worst week ever? Did I finally get my punishment for not sharing that MySpace bulletin in the sixth grade? Or maybe it’s because Mercury is in retrograde? Truthfully, I don’t know what is going on around me, but I am having one of the most unlucky weeks.

A series of unfortunate events have already occurred in my life this week – my laptop charger caught fire, and when I say caught fire, I seriously mean that sparks were flying. I lost my debit card, which was then used by some random person to get gas. I got bit by a mosquito on my head twice in fifteen minutes, and my head swelled up like a balloon. Oh, and to top it off, I’m coughing up my lungs as I write this because I’ve caught the plague that’s currently circulating around campus.

I’m solely convinced the world is out to get me.

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Photo Provided | Pinterest

I’ve always been told my life could be an MTV show like Awkward because of all the things that happen to me that are just so tragic. I didn’t really agree with my friends about that until this week. I have probably said, “My life is in shambles,” approximately 10,000 times since the beginning of the week. Also, I’ve wallowed in self pity for about an hour each day, complaining to anyone who will listen. But I mean, what college student doesn’t do that?

At the end of this week, I’m hoping to shed light on what I should be thankful for. Maybe I’ll read some poetry and do some meditation to level out my horrific luck. Or maybe I’ll find a four leaf clover and then I’ll also win a million dollars. All of which are unlikely.

Solo is the Way to Go

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Photo: Pinterest

Dating these days isn’t fun or glamorous. It’s tiring. I would rather binge-watch Criminal Minds than put on eyeliner and make small talk at a sushi restaurant. And I’m always down for sushi, ask any of my friends.

Plus, seeing relationships fall apart doesn’t persuade me to try and meet anyone either. I used to be the girl who was always in a relationship, but once I tasted my freedom, I realized that I’m not ready to try a million samples until I find the right one. Plus, I’m pretty sure my tastebuds haven’t changed much since my last relationship, and that was a flop, so why go out looking?

I love having the time to do the things that I want to do and watch the shows that I want to watch. Being alone isn’t “sitting in a dark, cold, dusty cellar waiting for somebody” (10 points if you know this song).

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Photo: Pinterest

Dating nowadays is just too hard. You have to define the relationship and fight off all the dating apps in the world because FOMO is totally a thing in our generation. There’s so much more work that is put into dating today, like checking what you like on Instagram, who you follow on Twitter, other simple activities that us single folk don’t have to look into unless we are trying to flirt with someone.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Being in a relationship can be an amazing thing, with the right person. There are some nights that I am jealous of all of you and your “relationship goals” pictures, and I wonder what that must be like.

This is for those of us that feel the constant pressure to be “talking” to someone, or purely miss the satisfaction of hand-holding and having someone to hug when you’ve had a bad day.

There’s nothing wrong with going home alone or deciding that dating just isn’t for you, and if it is for you, more power to you. But for now, until someone wants to stand outside my window with a boom box, I’m happy sleeping alone and falling asleep to the sound of Matthew Gray Gubler’s voice on my TV.